Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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