I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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