i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
