I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Randomize
