I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Randomize
