Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
