Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize