So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
