i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
