Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
