found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
