i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Randomize
