hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
