So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Randomize
