so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
