nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
