you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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