just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
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