In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Randomize
