No stitches, just platelets and will power
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize