Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
