Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
