thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
