I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
You pole danced in your parka.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
