I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
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