Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
