i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
