My first STD was from a foam party
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Randomize
