is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
