You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Randomize
