Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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