dude i'm inner monologue high
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
