Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
