I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Randomize
