you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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