I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
