I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
i dont even know how to be here
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
i think my cat just said my name.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
