HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
