Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
