grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
