just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
