I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
We smell like vodka and hangover
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
