Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize