Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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