Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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