It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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