she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
