Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
