Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
