You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
