So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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