They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Randomize
