so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
