girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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