i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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