sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize
