Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
