She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
