Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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