I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
