this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
