Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
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