i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
