Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
