I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
