Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
