I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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